All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she peed on how many people?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
