i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
