All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
