THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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