I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
