Whod you bang
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
