Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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