Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
