i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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