so explain again why im purple
no
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
