Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
