I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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