Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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