Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
