Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
