I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
3 2 1 whiskey
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
