white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
