Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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