Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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