my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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