Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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