i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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