I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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