Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
