then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
