just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
