Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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