I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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