Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
