By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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