According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
