thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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