from now on my penis is your penis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
