he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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