he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
