so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
