she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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