i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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