I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
