week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
