Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
