ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
