Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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