just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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