I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
