Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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