i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
