Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's blow job season.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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