we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
