im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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