dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
