Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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