worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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