OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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