im about as happy as oj after his trial
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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