I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my moral compass just broke
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
