To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
