Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
