PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
