Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
