At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
