Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
