I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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