he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
