Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
