i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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