if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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