We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
