Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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