...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
