I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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