I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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