Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
