Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
