Don't you send me to vm
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
